As a child, I was the kid whose report card often said “Works well with others, but is often distracting.” Me? Distracting? I’m sorry if I had a lot to say. For many of us, who were told we had “too much to say”, I want you to know, that you never have to apologize for that.
For years, I apologized for being my loud, bold self. I wanted people to like me. And I noticed that the girls who were likable, often didn’t say much. And if they did, they echoed the thoughts and actions of those around them. Standing out, whether it was for a good or bad reason, wasn’t something you wanted to do. You almost wanted to blend in. Fit in with the status quo and be agreeable. Unfortunately, that just was NOT me. Or rather…fortunately. You see, it took me years of understanding and challenging self reflection to realize, I was amazing for my voice. People valued my opinion because it was honest and truthful. That when I took up space, I took up space with authenticity and not out of insecurity.
Most of my clients are women who for years, were told they should shrink themselves. That they are being too “loud” and some cases, coming across too “bossy”. And if you know me well, you know how I feel about telling a woman she’s “bossy”. We as women have been sold a horrible lie. And that lie, is that the world doesn’t want to hear us. That the world doesn’t need women who are opinionated, but rather women, who like to fall in line. The “trad wife” is the new fad, and the outspoken woman, is yesterday’s news. Well, I hate to break it to you, but I believe that, that is a bunch of bull.
Now let me say, If the “trad wife” life is for you, then that is great. I will never stop a woman from living what is her truth. But what I WILL do, is stop a woman from thinking her voice has no value. That she can’t speak up in places where she is expected to be silent. That being seen as loud and bold, is a bad thing. It is NEVER a bad thing to show up as who you really are. And sometimes who you are is messy, complicated, beautiful, a work in progress and bold AF!
The moment I began to accept this in my own journey, was the moment I stopped apologizing for being anything other than Desiree. It was the moment where not only did my business begin to come together, but the moment I began to be a better coach to my clients. I leaned into the real, leaned into the messy, leaned into the confident version of me who showed up in my various hairstyles and ways. And you can too! If you are reading this article, then there has been a time in your life, where you felt exhausted putting on the show for others. For being small, when you wanted to roar. To letting your own thoughts and opinions be second to everyone else’s. You are tired of not living your potential, and are dying for change.
Congratulations! Recognizing that is the first step. But now that you have, what do you do next? Start journaling, meet new people, surround yourself with like minded individuals, find a coach or a mentor, begin to break the old narrative that “small you” is the REAL you. You can begin today living your most loud, bold and authentic life. You just have to be ready to really make some noise!
Desiree Simone 
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