I recently met up with an old friend of mine. It had been years since we got together and it was great to catch up. Of course, in the midst of martinis, work, family and friends conversations, relationships and sex finally came up. I sometimes wonder if men sit and scrutinize relationships with their friends as much as we do. I would like to think that there are a group of men, right now, somewhere in the world, held up in their man cave. Bottles of Budweiser, empty pizza cartons and O Magazines strewn around them, and one question on their mind, “Hey dog. Sometimes, do you feel like, you wanna find someone who really loves you?”
Ok, so maybe it wouldn’t happen like that, but it’s a cool idea. But we began to compare relationships. My friend, who is going through this whole “Positive Energy” kick, told me I should do the same. Well then I thought, my standards are pretty high. So we both came up with the idea of a checklist. Most of us make a to-do list everyday. It’s a great way to see what needs to be done and to cross off your list items that are completed, not important or can be done at a later date. So why not do the same thing for relationships?
But in making this list, what should you put on it? What would be the most important priority? I immediately thought of a sense of humor. I would like to think that I am a pretty funny person, with a pretty twisted sense of humor. So I would need someone who can make me laugh. But is that really the first thing I should be thinking about? I mean, you can make me laugh, great. But can you pay for dinner? Would you beat me? Would you tell me about your past? Or would my friends and sorority sisters like you?
There are so many things that I can put on that list. It’s picking the important ones, the ones that are deal breakers, that matter. So here is your homework assignment. You are each to make a checklist, the catch, you can only have five items on that list. These are the no compromise items. No matter how attractive, how rich, how famous the person is, if they don’t have the five items, you get your crap and run.
Now I know I am not the best at following my own advice, but I promise I will try. But my list is pretty easy:
- Emotional available
- Keanu Reeves
1. Has Integrity and Character that are similar to mine.2. I available emotionally, spiritually, physically. (I'm good at choosing the unavailable ones.)3. Financially able to take care of themselves. (Don't need a Mama.) 4. Can converse intelligently 5. Is interested in creating a positive growing relationship