I’ve said it before and I will say it again, if I don’t write often, my life is either crazy busy, or I have been kidnapped by Somali pirates. Ok, maybe not pirates, but the hectic busy part is true. No excuse, Desiree!
I have tons of creative friends and I am always shocked that when we date, we have similar issues. Mainly because creative people have no problem showing their feelings or being expressive, good or bad, in relationships. What we do have a problem with, is our internal monologue. Why, you ask? Because in a world that is colorful noise, our head is the most colorful of them all. And to be honest, it’s exhausting.
Imagine the voice inside your head when you are in a happy relationship. There isn’t much chatter and things look and sound good. When you aren’t in a happy relationship, or you spend a long time being single, you slowly start to question things, and the questions become loud and deafening. And you don’t question so much “What’s wrong with men?” as you ponder “What’s wrong with me?”. This leads a lot of people down a road of anxiety and loathing that is only compounded by failed Tinder dates and an obnoxious amount of wedding invitations. I mean seriously, how is it that I am always single during wedding season?
You and your inner monologue will spend A LOT of time together at which you will question every dating mistake, swipe, sex act and bad tequila decision you have made since you turned 30. It will be enough to make you crawl under your covers and binge “The Walking Dead” for 30 straight hours. But what does that do for you? And what do you get out of it? You’re still beating yourself up, and in some cases, making the situation worse because of thoughts you assume are real or true. I know, I’m the queen of this self-defeating tactic.
So I’m here to tell you, to do like T.Swizzle and shake that ish off! Take up a new hobby, do the thing you keep putting off, visit a friend-don’t just call them, whatever you need to do to get out of the Hoarders space that is your head and your nasty inner monologue. In the end, be kinder to yourself, and when you do, I promise you will see a difference in the world around you!