Mr Nubian King

I am all about confidence, heck, at times I have it in abundance. And there is nothing wrong with going in and having your own personal theme song playing in your head. You need that added push in some situations just because the task is so daunting. And I guess, the bedroom is some what like a circus. You are the ringleader, prancing around trying to entice the tiger while at the same time, trying to give the audience a good show.

But sometimes that confidence, can turn into arrogance and that arrogance can turn into really, really bad sex. So for your consideration I present, Mr Nubian King. Now I will admit, this post might be slightly skewed based on the fact that Mr Nubian King was the only black man I have ever been with. Yes, the ONLY one. So perhaps, for anthropological reasons, I should consider sleeping with another black man. Either way, he was my first. Mr Nubian King and I went to college years prior to our sleeping together. He was very good friends with a mutual friend of mine. A friend who I happen to be staying with for a few weeks before I moved out of state.

It was one of those nights of hanging out, watching tv, drinking wine and just chilling in. My friends boyfriend ended up coming over, leaving Mr Nubian King and I sitting in the living room, with the lights off…ALONE. Now little did I know, this was kind of planned because apparently, he liked me which was a total shook to me. It was like some horrible 6th grade first date, I sat on one far side of the couch, he on the other end and both of us staring at the tv, but not really watching it. I fully expected the ole yawn and arm move, but it did not happen. This would find out later would have been the lesser of all evils.

Now how it happened that he kissed me, I will never know. Maybe he was a ninja in another life because I did not see it coming. And who am I to deny a cute boy a kiss. Yea, he was cute. Not really my type because I have only ever been attracted to white men, but he was cute and sweet. Well the kiss turned into some serious kissing and then we were off. Now I am not proud to admit this, but I was soooo not into this moment. I would have been happier watching whatever it was we were watching. This taught me a great lesson which was further taught by Mr Best, if you are not in the moment, don’t fake it, it turns out to be more work for you. So true.

So the clothes come off, more kissing continues and then it was like we time traveled to a cheesy 1972 porno. He had this look in his eye like there was a camera in the room. No, seriously. Like he was…acting. And then to make it worse, came….the lines. “Yeaaaaa.”  “You like this?”  “I know you do.”  “You love it don’t you?”  Do I? Actually no. It took everything in my power not to laugh. Was he serious? Who was he trying to convince? Me or him? And the LL Cool J lip licking and then, I swear the man winked at me. What in the world? All I kept thinking is, this can’t be what the whole hub bub about black men. Seriously, who the hell did I just slept with? A cross between Quagmire and Barry White?

Funny as it was, it thankfuly was over in no time. I went to the shower, hiding my giggles and a bit perplexed. I was hoping that this might have been the man that could have converted me to the “Dark Side.” But there is something to be said about leaving your pride at the bedroom door. So Guys, be macho, be cocky, show us your best moves, but remember sometimes, silence is golden.