I love Chris Rock. The above clip is from his comedy special “Bigger and Blacker”. I remember the first time I saw it, and laughing so hard that I was in tears. But I also recall thinking, he has some very valid points. The above mentioned being the biggest.
When it comes to oral sex, I will admit, women are greedy. I know! Shocked to hear us say, right? But it’s true. We want to enjoy it and in some cases thats all we want. We want to receive and not do any giving. Some of us feel that our love and other special talents should be enough. And some women, and I am ashamed to say this, don’t believe in it at all. Like Chris Rock says, you have to look at women who doesn’t perform oral like a beta max, “They still make you?”
I argue that a woman who doesn’t perform oral feels this way for two reasons. First, she truly hates it. For her, there is no pleasure. And if there is no pleasure, why is she doing it? Not only that, some feel its demeaning. So they would rather do every other Leave It To Beaver move than to go downtown. Reason number two, she might not be good at it. I don’t care what any guy says, there is such a thing as a bad bj. And though you might be excited you are getting attention down there, admit it, you would rather have nothing than to have a woman act like she is licking a lemon.
So what does a guy do in either case? In the first, find out how she truly feels about performing oral. Whether its from a bad experience or a *cough* taste issue *cough*, talk to her and see if you can find a compromise. Remember, at our core, we love to please. In the second, you have to treat this one tactfully. We don’t want to hear you say “You are horrible, just stop” Instead, give her clever pointers. If you notice, we are never at a loss for telling you what to do. So if you have a secure enough woman (and the secure part is the key word) then you should be able to be a great bj coach and walk her through what you like.
But may I remind you fellas, that if you are the one enjoying this little carnal treat, remember it is also good to give back. And you know what I mean. But that’s another topic, for another day.
Aah yes…too true. It’s tricky, isn’t it? A fellow fiery bloggess wrote a fantastic post about this very thing. You can find Alice and her very informative post here along with very “in depth” extra links for “deeper” tutoring: http://storyofalice.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/blow-job-101/
And, for the fellas, this is a MUST HAVE: “She Comes First” by Dr. Ian Kerner, sex therapist extraordinaire (http://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Thinking-Pleasuring/dp/0060538260/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1328742372&sr=8-1). This book should be read by women and men alike. It is a tome dedicated to oral pleasuring women and ridding the world of male “ill-cliteracy”, and, as a woman, I learned more about my own body in this book than I ever thought I could. It’s *fabulous*. When I finished it, I hit my husband over the head with it. He also wrote a follow-up book entitled “Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man” (http://www.amazon.com/Passionista-Empowered-Womans-Guide-Pleasuring/dp/0060834390/ref=pd_vtp_b_1). I haven’t read that one yet, but I fully intend to take this one in very, very soon…no pun intended.
Personally, I absolutely LOVE giving BJs. I find it incredibly arousing, and I love knowing that i am giving pleasure to my husband. It’s very empowering. Plus, you can really draw it out, so to speak, and turn it into something quite epic. Add a feather…a blindfold….some honey dust…aaaaw yeah….talk about bringing a man to the edge….Ahem.