One of the things that therapy has taught me over the years, are the deep issues, traumas or unrecognized conditions that make me... me. But Smut Books, audio books and SmutTok have taught me that apparently I have a kink. I call it "The Good Girl". Looking at it...
You Think Like a Dude
There are two very distinct sides to my social make up. I am lucky that I have the greatest girlfriends in the world. I also belong to the BEST sorority there is. With that said, my girls always have my back. From the craziest of relationship issues, to the hardest of personal times, they are the women I admire and love dearly….
…then….there’s the flip. I am the woman who has a tendency to have more male friends that I think is allowed in the realm of dating. And not just friends that I went to college with, I mean the kind of guys that I can call balling my eyes out over a heart break and they are prepared to kick the guys ass, and then the guys who encourage me to take that 4th shot of Jager just to see the end result. Because of them, I am a truly lucky girl.
I have to say, I have learned a great deal from both sets of friends. The empathy and compassion of my girls and the realistic yet carnal side of my homeboys. But I find when it comes to dating, I get the same response from both of them…”You think like a dude!”
I am sure you have heard this phrase before. Perhaps someone has even uttered it about you. But what does it really mean? Is it a bad thing? I like to think that it isn’t. For me, when the “dude” in me kicks in, it is usually telling me:
A) The Truth
B) The thing I DON’T want to hear
C) and finally, the thing that my girls will lie about, just because we don’t want to hurt each other
There is also the physical aspect of “The Dude”. So I am going to let you men in on a little secret that you are not to repeat to any girl. There are times, like you, where we could really care less about a relationship. At the end of the day, we just want to sleep with you. It’s usually something that you idiots do to screw that up. Like admitting you really like us, or you want to abstain from sex. Who does that?
For me, when that part of the “The Dude” comes into play, I am pretty much ok with it. And, in true dude fashion, depending on the sex, will determine if I pick up the phone and ever call you back or pretend like the whole thing never happened. But here is where society has issues with this concept. When a guy does it, he’s a player, and that’s cool. When a girl does it, she’s a slut, and that is not cool.
So here is the real for 2011. If I am acting like a dude, take credit men, that I am allowing that insecure girl in me to die. I am allowing myself to say, it is ok to go for what I want, and like a man, not stop until I get it. That if I am going to find a real challenger in this dating world, it better be a man that can go balls to balls with me. And like a true WOMAN, I will end up VICTORIOUS!
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